Feeling much better today! Barely any pain in the morning but I went to see World War Z and now I'm back to feeling pain again. Darn.

Day 11 - 7/08/13 pretty bad day. But I'll keep fighting! I'm a fighter!!!

Woke up at 6:45! Fuck me but I'm not even tired 15 minutes after that. I think something is wrong here. Head was well elevated thanks to DD but my guts are really hot. Feels like I'm pummeled again and that nothing in my stomach is moving. Able to pass gas though. That's not too bad. 

It seems that lying on DD puts lots of pressure on my intestine. Had a reflux free night but now my lower abdomen is very tender and sore especially around the belly button area. Will try to go back to sleeping on stacked pillows tonight. Maybe I should alternate?

6:45 2 glutamine. 

8:23 2 DGLs. 

8:47 sucralfate. Just cuz. 

Sucralfate doesn't seem to do anything. Unfortunately. 

Ate some brown rice and have sour taste in mouth. I think it's because I still can't digest it. Will try to eat white rice from now on and chicken. There were chunks of things in my poop today. Probably the fish. 

Pretty sure the hot flashes are from the huge amount of acid being dumped in my guts. 

11 Had a massive poop. Now tired and tummy hurts from too much acid earlier. Burning. Scary. 

11:10 3 aloe gels. 

11:38 burning subsided but still have lots of pins and needles. 

Turns out it was because of the brown rice and instead of lying on DD. 

Still have pins and needles on either LES or intestine (upper abdomen). 

1:47 2 glutamine. 

I'm so scared I'm not gonna get better and that I'll hve to live with this for the rest of my life. I'm too young. Why me??? I barely even lived my life! Why me. Oh God, why me???

I cried a lot and still don't feel better. My stomach still burns and heaviness in intestines like nothing is moving. I still can't accept that this is going to be my life from now on. It's not fair. There are people who drink and party everyday yet they don't get anything. It's not fair. It's not fair! I want my life back! I want it back. 

I don't know what I'm going to do now. I can't even find a single good thing to motivate myself anymore. I want to fight but it's difficult because it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle right now. My stomach, I can pamper it and hopefully it will go back to normal with time but if I have GERD, it's for life. I'm so scared because I've been having a sour taste in my mouth all the time. I'm so scared... I just want a second chance. Please. Just a second chance. I swear will pray every day for the rest of my life. If I get better without any permanent damages, I'll be a true believer in God, because this takes a miracle. 

2:50 2 DGLs. 

3:15 food. 

Constant sour taste in mouth. Hurts, burning in stomach and especially the esophagus. I'm so so scared. I've been crying for at least a good 30 minutes. I just want my life back. That's all I want. I just want to be a healthy 22 year old woman again. Please. Someone out there please help me. I'm so scared and hopeless. Give me a sign please!

Dad got a new job that he thought he couldn't. Isn't that a good sign for me too???

6:45 2 DGLS

7:15 food and 1 pepzin. 

Walked with mom but not a significant amount of exertion. 

8:57 3 DGLs. 

Sucralfate. Seems to lessen and soothe the burning this time. 

9:30 1 omeprazole because I keep having burning on the left side of stomach around my back. Won't stop no matter what I do. 

Wonder if all this could be because I've been sitting too much and waking up too early?

10:34 omeprazole starts to work. Acid is gone. Still some achy feeling. Hopefully tomorrow will be better! I'll try to eliminate all the possible problems that can cause gastritis so that the only option left is just more time for my gastritis to heal properly. There's got to be a reason why my gastritis is not healing. I'm gonna find it and I'll fix it. I will not have it forever. That is not an acceptable option. 

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