Feeling much better today! Barely any pain in the morning but I went to see World War Z and now I'm back to feeling pain again. Darn.

It's Snowing....

Just feel like getting a few lines out while the snow is still falling and the feeling is still fresh in me.'s not exactly "feeling." I don't have any feeling looking at the snow right now. In fact, snow has lost its magic to me several years ago. The fact that several years ago, I would come and sit outside just to watch several snowflakes melt on the sidewalk seemed foreign to me at this moment. Back then snow was something new and magical. It's embarassing but I thought my prince charming would come on a snowy day and take me away...

Five years later, snow is just...snow, you know? It's cold and it's wet and it's disgusting. Snow is just the solid form of water falling from the sky after precipitation. Snow is no longer magical but just a natural process of science (or whatever you call it.)

I don't go outside anymore. In fact, I'm writing this post about snow while I'm inside my house, looking at the outside through the window. I'm view the snowy world through a television no larger than the size of a typical poster.

Thinking about snow made me realize about something deeper. When I was young, I used to ask myself (and maybe you, stranger, have asked yourself this question at some point in you life): why don't adults believe in fairy tales and miracles? Why don't they believe in magic and princes? Why do they always think of money?

When I asked my mom she told me she didn't have time. She told me I'm naive. She told me those are fake. But I never believe her. As long as you believe, micracles will happen, that was what I thought. Or what America wants children to believe.

In my late teens, I now realized that all of that is rubbish. The fairy tales, miracles, and such don't exist. They never have! I don't understand why America wants children to believe so? Why tell them a big lie when they are young? Why not let them understand that the world is harsh, if you fall, you might not be able to get up? I know it would be difficult for children to understand but at least do not tell them lies! And here is when America contradicts itself.

Don't lie, isn't that what your mother, textbooks, books, teachers, tutors, grandfather, grandmom... EVERYONE who cares tell you when you were a kid? But look at what they're doing. They lie to each other every day. Husbands to wife, friends to friends, politicians to citizens, government to the "governed," even your parents lie to you! And let me tell you about America's biggest lie:

Santa Claus

No. My appologies. I am mistaken. Let me correct myself. Santa Claus is not America's biggest lie but the world's biggest lie. Every year around this time, children are elated by just the mere sound of the words "Santa Claus." Why o why lie to them and make them believe and then someday take away that most fundamental belief from them? Don't parents understand how cruel that will be? They have experienced that feeling already, you would expect them not to make history repeat itself, no? It might not sound as bad as waking up one day and realized everyone is dead. But even that's the case, at least you know that they existed at some point in your life. Here, children are made to believe in something that never happen/exist. It is totally made up. Utterly lies! It's like you've always believed you live in a world of happiness and one day realize that you've always lived in a planet of nothingness. Nothing exists in your world but you believe it does because some jerk brainwashed and make you that way.

I thankfully do not have to experience that feeling. I know better. It's just my sister who's still living in that world of lies that I worry about.

Here, you'd ask me if I'd say that to my children, the fact that Santa Claus doesn't exist- that is, the answer is yes. I know I'm just a teenager. I'll change my mind faster than I blink blah blah. So what? At least I'll admit that I lie. At least I won't try to be a hypocrite. At least I won't make my sister believe in some mythical creature!

I know it (because I don't know if it's going to be a boy or girl) is going to hate me for it but I'm sure it will thank me later for saving it another huge heart break. There is much more to say but I'm going to stop here. I'll remember the times when it snows because somewhere at this moment, lies are told and hearts are broken.

With all that is said, I wish you a merry Christmas. May your heart heal soon.

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